In my last blog, I reflected on the signs and features of trauma responses in children ages 1-5. I thought I would continue on with the same theme of looking at trauma responses in children ages 5-12. Although there may be some similarities, there is also some marked differences in how trauma becomes internalized and then externalized within this age group.
Children who experience a traumatic event at this age start to present with regressive behaviours. These behaviours might include increased competition with sibling for parents attention. There may be signs of separation anxiety, excessive clinging, crying and sadness or engaging in behaviours that they have previously outgrown.
Psychological responses become quite evident. These children might start to complain of headaches, itching and scratching, nausea, dizziness, difficulty sleeping, nightmare or night terror, visual or hearing problems, sweats, racing heart or tightness of the chest.
Emotionally, traumatized children between the ages of 5-12 can experience a profound sense of loss and sadness. Fear reactions becomes more evident in this group leading to several types of phobias such as social, darkness, wind and rain, being alone, and even school. Behaviourally, these children begin to withdraw from playing with friend, being with family members and overall turn inward. In some cases, aggression can increase to where the child can become increasingly irritable, hyperactive, disobedient and oppositional. School performance can drop because of the child's difficulty in being able to concentrate and focus. Along with this, the child might start to avoid going to school because they find it so overwhelming.
As you can see, trauma through the lens of a child has a significant physiological, emotional, and behavioural impact. So what can parents do to help their child? Providing positive reinforcement is critical in beginning to rebuild the safety and hope back for the child. For a short period, the emotional needs of the child are more important than school or home performance expectations. Until the child can be stabilized from the trauma, you might want to lower the bar and relax some of the performance expectations. By providing the child with meaningful attention, support and physical comfort, they can begin to feel connected to their loved ones and know that there is understanding for what they are going through. Reassurance is always helpful by letting the child know that they are going to get through this difficult time and eventually return to their previous functioning abilities. Children always feel safer with structure. Where daily structure can be provided, things become more predictable for the child. Encouraging your child to become physically active will assist their natural neurobiological system to produce the chemicals that induce "pleasurable" feelings. Activity is vital for these children. Engaging your child to speak about the trauma through verbal expression, specifically about their thoughts and feelings of the trauma event is helpful in assisting them to process their loss and share their grieving experience. Having the child re-enact the trauma through play is helpful. Then beginning to have the child explore other "truths" about the trauma that they had not considered support challenging the catastrophic thinking of the event. Allowing the child to share what has been learned for them by going through this trauma supports in building resiliency for future traumas in life and how they might handle them.
In summing up, by providing your child the opportunity of play reenactment, the use of puppets, art, sharing your own personal experiences, books, or journaling are all ways that a child can begin to feel safe to tell their trauma story. By children being able to express themselves, we truly help our kids work through these difficult times and begin to equip them now and for future traumatic events. This is how we build RESILIENCY in our kids.
Cheers
Ian
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