Going From Surviving To Thriving In A Relationship Where One Partner Has A History Of Sexual Abuse

Childhood sexual abuse stats in Canada are staggering. I would like to begin this blog by sharing what research tells us about this worrisome issue.

In 1999, the McCreary Adolescent Health Survey II* found that:

• 35% of girls and 16% of boys between grades 7 - 12 had been sexually and/or physically abused
• Among girls surveyed, 17-year-olds experienced the highest rate of sexual abuse at 20%

In their 2001 report on Family Violence in Canada**, The Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics found that children who are exposed to physical violence in their homes are:

• more than twice as likely to be physically aggressive as those who have not had such exposure;
• more likely to commit delinquent acts against property
• more likely to display emotional disorders and hyperactivity

University of Victoria's Sexual Assault Centre*** posts the following childhood sexual abuse statistics:

• 1 in 3 females and 1 in 6 males in Canada experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18.
• 80% of all child abusers are the father, foster father, stepfather or another relative or close family friend of the victim.
  
• Incestuous relationships last 7 years on average
  
• 75% of mothers are not aware of the incest in their family
  
• 60-80% of offenders in a study of imprisoned rapists had been molested as children
  
• 80% of prostitutes and juvenile delinquents, in another study, were sexually abused as children.

Most common types of abuse
In their 2001 report on Family Violence in Canada****, The Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics found that:

• 69% of substantiated physical abuse involved inappropriate punishment
• 68% of substantiated sexual abuse involved touching and fondling
• 58% of substantiated emotional maltreatment involved exposure to family violence
• 48% of substantiated cases of neglect primarily involved failure to supervise the child properly, which lead to physical harm

Abusers are commonly known to the survivor In their 2001 report on Family Violence in Canada****, The Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics found that family members, including relatives, constituted the vast majority (93%) of alleged perpetrators. Another statistical study conducted in 2001 by the Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics**** found that:

• among family assaults parents were the perpetrators in 56% of physical assaults against youths and 43% of sexual assaults against youth victims 12 to 17 years of age;
• siblings were responsible for approximately 25% of physical and 26% of sexual assaults in the family that were perpetrated against youth
• extended family members committed 8% of physical, and 28% of sexual assaults against youth

A BC snapshot In a snapshot taken on April 17, 2000****, in British Columbia, there were 689 residents in shelters: 54% were women and 46% were children.

• 82% were women escaping abusive situations
• of the women escaping abuse, 32% indicated they were also protecting their children from psychological abuse, 28% from witnessing abuse of their mother, 13% from threats, 9% from physical abuse, 5% from neglect, and 5% from sexual abuse

 Although I have shared some stats with you to raise your awareness around the prevalence of childhood abuse, I would like to explore with you how victimized individuals of childhood sexual abuse are implicated in their future adult intimate relationships. The partner with a history childhood sexual abuse (CSA) significantly can be affected in their capacity to manage intimacy.  Marital distress along with difficulties in the ongoing maintenance of the couple's relationship can become obvious. CSA often takes place in a close interpersonal relationship that has a number of similarities to traditional couple relationships. For example, in the case of incest, CSA is likely to be associated with emotional and sexual intimacy that develops gradually over time. Therefore, the context in which CSA occurs may predispose victim to experience emotional distress and confusion in subsequent adult relationships (Feinauer, 1989).

In the U.S., it is generally accepted that one-third of women have experienced some form of sexual trauma under the age of 18 years of age (Briere, 1992). These experiences include CSA, date and stranger rape, harrassment, and many other forms of victimization. The national studies for reported male CSA is approximately 10% (Finkelhor, Hotaling, Lewis, & Smith, 1990). The reason I share these stats with you is that the majority of research around this issue has been guided and based mostly on women, so it should be generalized with men cautiously. 

When we compare nonabused women to survivors of CSA, CSA are at greater risk for many negative internal experiences such as depression, anxiety, intrusive memories, rage and shame (Browne & Finkkelhor, 1986; Polusny & Follette, 1995). Women who have a history of complex trauma from CSA might engage in negative coping behaviours such as self-harm, self-mutilation, binge eating, substance abuse, suicide attempts (Briere & Runtz, 1993). When we begin to understand the impact that CSA has on the survivor, this raises awareness to the difficulties that can arise regarding the strain these behaviours might bring to a couples relationship. Research has identified (Biglan et al., 1985; Jacobson, Holtzworth-Munroe, & Schmaling, 1989) that individual disorders such as depression, anxiety, and substance-abuse can cause distress and negatively influence the intimate functioning of a couples relationship. Although the research in limited to the influence of interpersonal difficulties from trauma and couples distress, there are similar connections as in previous research mentioned. Individuals implicated by previous complex trauma commonly experience severe disruptions in social adjustment and couples relationships. A lack of 'trust' and increased fear are also features of CSA. Based on the finding mentioned, it makes perfect sense why survivors of CSA struggle to establish close relationships, maintain relationships and to build healthy attachments. 

In my next blog I will review how intimacy, avoidance and emotions operate in a relationship where one partner is a survivor of CSA.

Thanks for reading!!